"What's wrong with being an angry prophet denouncing the hypocrisy of our times?"
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"What's wrong with being an angry prophet denouncing the hypocrisy of our times?"
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Stars: Marie Windsor, Sterling Hayden, Vince Edwards, Coleen Gray, Elisha Cook
"Any time you take a chance, you better be sure the rewards are worth the risk, because they can put you away just as fast for a ten dollar heist as they can for a million dollar job."
Based on the novel "Clean Break" by Lionel White, this movie takes place in the shady world of racetrack betting. Bad guy Johnny Clay has planned what he believes is the perfect robbery of approximately two million dollars from a horse track. It's a high risk gamble that pays off, but he didn't take into account how the machinations of one woman could jeopardize everything.
One of the best heist films ever made, and another celluloid testament to the genius of Stanley Kubrick. Great punchy dialogue, brilliant acting, and the non-linear structure make this a fantastic film to watch again and again. Fans of Reservoir Dogs pay special attention, you will love this.
Directed by Dwain Esper
Stars: Harley Wood, Paul Ellis, Hugh McArthur, Richard Erskine, Pat Carlyle
"We've tried his giggle water, let's try his giggle weed!"
Potheads are criminals without conscience, the scourge of society! Need proof? See this cult camp classic and watch how one puff can ruin your entire life. Beware the demon weed, the hashish of the orient. It will lead to promiscuity, alcoholism, heroin addiction, pregnancy, criminality, and ultimately death. Really!
Oily Pimp Daddy Tony meets Burma in a bar and thinks she's just the type he likes to corrupt. After dealing a little mary jane (stashed in the heel of his shoe) Tony puts the make on Burma, inviting her and her friends to a party. He likes to "turn on" teenagers to dope because they get hooked so easily. (Folks, Burma and company are the oldest looking teenagers in movie history- Tony should have checked ID's first.)
Jealous of her older sister and rebelling against her mother, Burma is soon sliding down the slippery slope to becoming a dope dealer herself. You'll enjoy the trip, howling at the terrible acting and heavy handed hysterics.
Directed by Jack Hill
Stars: Robbie Lee, Joanne Nial, Monica Gayle, Kate Murtagh, Marlene Clark
"If you go, it's gonna turn out BAD!"
This is the epitome of the cult movie experience. Presented by Quentin Tarantino's Rolling Thunder Pictures, Switchblade Sisters is an entertaining exploitation magnum opus skillfully directed by Jack Hill.
The Dagger Debs are an all girl gang led by squeaky voiced hardcase Lace. Her second in command is Patch, a lithe blonde Iago with a metal eye patch (Tarantino clearly created the character Elle Driver of the Kill Bill series in homage.) Lace's reign of terror is upset by the arrival of Maggie, who can more than handle the Debs and anyone else who wants to tangle with her. The excrement really hits the air conditioning when Lace's dim bulb boyfriend, president of the Silver Daggers, takes an interest in the new girl.
I LOVE THIS MOVIE. It's violent, vulgar, funny, and over the top in every respect. There are so many quotable quips in this flick, you'll be laughing almost continuously. So sit back with your favorite mind altering substance and watch Maggie my girl transform the rag-tag Dagger Debs into the formidable Jezebels! You won't regret it.
Full Metal Jacket (1987)
Directed by Stanley Kubrick
Stars: Matthew Modine, Vincent D'Onfrio, R. Lee Ermey, Adam Baldwin, Dorian Harewood
"There is no racial bigotry here, I do not look down on niggers, kikes, wops, or greasers, here you are all equally worthless."
Stanley Kubrick is my favorite director. The man was an absolute genius. This movie is one of many masterpieces Kubrick created during his esteemed career, an iconic piece of cinema history with legions of cult fans who can recite memorable lines from this production with fanatical glee.
A searing depiction of the Vietnam war, the film is divided into three distinct segments. Each sequence is perfect unto itself and creates a compelling whole as we follow our narrator, Private Joker, through the war.
Segment one concerns basic training in the marine corps. The green recruits are commanded by Sgt. Hartman, who leads by violence and spewing the most brilliant profanities and insults committed to film. In this portion of the film, the ordeal of Private Pyle is painful to endure, and his eventual breakdown evokes sympathy and fear. The fact that R. Lee Ermey didn't get a nomination for an Academy Award for his role as tough as nails Sgt. Hartman is a travesty. Hollywood sucks!
Next we see Joker's experiences after he has been assigned to basic military journalism, writing for the Stars and Bars newspaper. It all begins with a scene made infamous by the notorious 2 Live Crew, who sampled lines from a Vietnamese prostitute for their aptly named hit "Me So Horny", which caused a shitstorm in the music industry. What up, Luke! Call me... Here we find out the real function of the military press, which is to suppress the real horrors of the war. There are two kinds of stories to report- heartwarming accounts of marines helping the indigent natives, or combat tales that end with a kill count. As a journalist, Joker is kept in the rear with the gear, and part of him yearns to be "in the shit" where the action is. Soon enough, he gets his wish. With peace button firmly affixed to his uniform and Born to Kill written on his helmet, Joker goes into battle.
The final portion of this flick is a smoke filled nightmare of gunfire and carnage, where Joker learns the hardest lessons of war. The tension, sudden death, and ever present madness are relentless.
Many believe this to be the finest war film ever made, and I rank it among the top five (along with Hamburger Hill, Platoon, Glory, and All Quiet on the Western Front.)
A realistic blend of gallows humor and hell, Full Metal Jacket is simply one of the best films ever crafted.
Directed by Edward E. Kaye
Stars: Wheeler Oakman, Betty Comson, Margaret Marquis, Robert Kellard
"The trouble with you is, you're sobering up."
Hollywood Escort Girls is a prostitution racket run by Ruth Ahsley in partnership with her lover, the slimy Gregory Stone. She uses the money to live in style and support her daughter June, who is ignorant of what her mother does for a living. This charade comes to a crashing halt when June makes an unexpected visit to announce her engagement to Drake, who happens to work for the D.A.'s office. Drake's mission- to go undercover and bust illegal escort businesses. Whoops!
I can't get enough of these exploitation films, and this is one of the best of the crop. The story is presented with a healthy dose of comedy, and even has a striptease sequence that shocked the heck out of me (the stripper gets down to sparkly pasties and fringed panties while gyrating suggestively.)
Wheeler Oakman, who also appeared as a pimp in other movies of this ilk, is once again playing the villian. He's especially despicable in this one, putting the moves on Ruth's daughter in a seduction scene that will have you howling with laughter. Oakman is a master at these types of roles and does a more than convincing job here. You'll love to hate him.
An intoxicating cocktail of humor, melodrama, violence, and scantily clad women, this flick is sure to entertain even the most jaded viewers.
Directed by Harry Revier
Stars: Shirley Mills, Bob Bollinger, Diana Durrell, Warner Richmond
"We got to marry 'em young, we're short of women!"
So, this is how the Clampett's lived before they struck it rich and moved to Beverly, Hills that is...Do-gooder schoolmarm Miss Carol tries to get child marriage banned by law. She has returned to the poor mountain community where she grew up and is appalled at how young girls are forced to marry old men, leaving them to a life of continually having babies and not much else. The menfolk get all fired up at her meddling in their affairs and decide to teach her a lesson. Miss Carol, a true zealot, doesn't give up her cause, even though she barely escapes a tar and feathering.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch- dastardly Jake has his short eyes set on little Jennie and orchestrates the situation to where her mother has no choice but to let him marry the kid. The wedding takes about 2.5 minutes, which is fine by Jake. He's looking forward to the honeymoon!
A strange bit of cinema from beginning to end, we get lots of bare footin', backwoods twang, moonshine, a dwarf, leering old guys, and plenty of disturbing shots of Jennie bending over in her tiny dresses. You'll spend most of your viewing time gaping slack-jawed at this movie in disbelief.
This film starts with a disclaimer that it in no way means to depict mountain folks in a negative way, then proceeds to portray them as ignorant, murderous, filthy, child marrying scarecrows. Fantastic! Another 30's exploitation gem that has become a cult movie classic.
Directed by Franc Roddam
Stars: Phil Daniels, Sting, Ray Winstone, Leslie Ash, Mark Wingett
"...You gotta be somebody, ain't ya, or you might as well jump in the sea and drown."
Are you a Mod or a Rocker? Take this easy quiz and find out!
1. Are you angry and anti-establishment? Do you prefer slick suits, sharp haircuts, Lambrettas and Vespas, synthetic drugs, and The Kinks?
You are a Mod.
2. Are you angry and anti-establishment? Do you prefer leather jackets and jeans, the pompadour, roaring motorcycles, beer, and Gene Vincent?
You are a Rocker.
If you had to take this quiz, you are definitely suffering from an identity crisis and need to watch this excellent flick for tips on how to dress, fight, dance, piss off authority figures, and frighten the general public. One of the great teen rebellion movies, with a soundtrack made in heaven (most music courtesy of rock gods The Who) Quadrophenia is grade A Britisih cult cinema. Oi! Turn it on, turn it up, and break off the bleedin' knob!
Directed by Elmer Clifton
Stars: Lona Andre, Donald Reed, John Merton, Wheeler Oakman
"And in this room...the lonesome bachelor visits occasionally."
This movie is a bizarre masterpiece. One of the slew of exploitative smut films masquerading as a morality tale produced in the 1930's, Slaves in Bondage must be seen to be believed.
A barber shop as a front for a white slavery operation? Recruiting prostitutes through "Manicurist Wanted" ads? A contortionist, a fan dancer, an unfunny and freaky comedy duo, catfights, kidnapping, murder, gambling, snappy comebacks- they throw everything into this film except a giant mechanical shark.
Don't let Lona Andre's atrocious acting scare you away from watching this movie. You'll regret it if you do. If you can watch a Jennifer Lopez flick, you can watch this film.
The best scene is when Donna is given a tour by Belle of the exclusive gentleman's club that she secretly owns. Belle proceeds to introduce our heroine to the "entertainers". This sequence is pure genius. Donna's reaction to the Oriental Room is priceless. And then there's that fight between the girls, with plenty of face slapping and rending of garments. Yes! It's all sinister, sexy, and laughable.
I love these old message movies. They totally glorify the evils they supposedly preach against. The bad guys and gals are always more interesting than the heroes. It is impossible to make a film like this anymore, and that's why it is a true cult classic.